it'll take a better war.

2012-02-05T12:21:00.000-06:00

A tale that begins with a beet.

2012-01-26T02:14:00.000-06:00

Like, maybe I should have seen it.

2012-01-22T21:43:00.000-06:00

Almost....

2012-01-21T18:15:00.000-06:00

Look at that near facial symmetry. Droop no more!

And muscle strength... mmmm. Keep trying paralysis, keep at it, but I'm scrappy. Mama didn't raise no quitter. You can't win. Take my leg, take my hand, fingers, fine. But you're not taking the face. Do you know how much of sarcastic expression is facial? Answer: entirely way too much for you to compromise my ability to raise my eyebrows and squint condescendingly, as well as smile entirely too big and laugh entirely too loud.

It'll take a better war.

But if not, I take comfort in knowing there's a heaven for a G.

Not funny? Ashley C.P., I know you laughed a little.

Vacío.

2012-01-21T04:28:00.001-06:00

Song.

2012-01-20T22:06:00.002-06:00

  I am stuck in traffic in a taxicab
   which is typical
   and not just of modern life
             
   mud clambers up the trellis of my nerves
   must lovers of Eros end up with Venus
   muss es sein? es muss nicht sein, I tell you
   
   how I hate disease, it's like worrying
   that comes true
   and it simply must not be able to happen
   
   in a world where you are possible
   my love
   nothing can go wrong for us, tell me

Frank O'Hara.

Come on in.

2012-01-18T03:08:00.000-06:00

The water's fine.

Afraid of the Desert.

2012-01-18T02:53:00.000-06:00

"You know what I mean? Real and unreal, beautiful and strange, like a dream. It got me high as a kite, but it didn’t last long enough. It ended too soon and left nothing behind.”

That’s how it is with dreams,” said Priscilla. “They’re the perfect crime."

-TR

Throwback 2010

2012-01-18T01:58:00.002-06:00

Makes me want to go wedding dress shopping for Sara.... AGAIN. Yes this is what Mom and I were doing while you were in the fitting rooms. xoxo BEAST

but THEN,

2012-01-17T14:07:00.000-06:00

spirits were lightened instantaneousnessly when these three got down and dirty "appreciating" Warhol. If you know me really well and know my preferred study circuit in the art community and have spent a really fair amount of time with me you'd know of my distaste for Pop Art. So this blew away the blues (see what I did there?)

I had more to say, I'm sure you're white-knuckled, but my mother's a'summoning, and I've begun to develop some obsessive compulsive tendancy of not leaving computer windows open, maybe that just has to do with un-tied off high school paranoia, run on sentence much? not over- but to ease the sting I feel a pointless rant of idiocracy a word-make-up session coming on in the next 3 or 4 hours. Stay tuned.

I nearly teared up at this.

2012-01-17T13:59:00.000-06:00

And by nearly, I mean super did.

I apologize Sam, Seth & Annie for embarrassing you in front of that security guard named Cecil.

Who ever thought the day would come where I would get sentimental over anything not covered in processed sugar or frosting, let alone a post-Columbian foil Peruvian llama I've seen before?

Ayacucho corazon. Regresaré pronto.

But, seriously.

2012-01-09T19:42:00.003-06:00

AMURICA.

2012-01-09T00:51:00.000-06:00

Brewin'

2012-01-07T18:51:00.000-06:00

"i am with the roots

of flowers

entwined, entombed

sending up my passionate blossoms

as a flight of rockets

and argument;

wine churls my throat,

above me

feet walk upon my brain, monkies fall from the sky

clutching photographs

of the planets,

but i seek only music

and the leisure

of my pain"

It's hardly even fair.

2011-12-26T13:09:00.000-06:00

Alright.

2011-12-25T02:05:00.002-06:00

http://www.law.nyu.edu/admissions/jdadmissions/dualdegreeprograms/J.D.M.A.inLatinAmericanandCaribbeanStudies/index.htm

pues

2011-12-24T04:51:00.001-06:00

“In the end, perhaps we should simply imagine a joke; a long joke that's continually retold in an accent too thick and strange to ever be completely understood. Life is that joke my friends. The soul is the punch line.”

(Inter)Mission update.....

2011-12-20T13:44:00.002-06:00

Emily here.

Don't freak out yet, I'm explaining.

So funny story. Well not terribly funny but my new found and deeply embedded spirit of positivity and optimism mixed with my inability to form grammatically correct sentences in English has led me to find it funny.

We're gonna "long story short" it because well frankly I don't have the energy to be sitting here a while, so well about 4 months ago I started getting sick little by little. My bless-ed Colombian queen of a companion Hna. Gutierrez finally cracked the hammer down and made me call and so I had all kinds of doctors appointments. What was happening was a combination of vertigo, black outs, dizziness, neck and head tension, hearing loss, migraines, extreme fatigue and such, of which all symptoms don't combine very well with mission work. I went to a doctor in Ayacucho, couldn't figure it out. Went again. Went to other doctor in Lima, different opinion. Other doctor, wanted to x-ray my nerves (super doesn't work). Talked to the mission doctor, explained what was happening, and was shipped immediately to the US (kicking and screaming mind you) due to the possible severity of permanent consequences including but not limited to brain damage, facial paralysis, deafness, and/or death. In my opinion I could have just as easily died in that country as I could have here, but, hey I'll let divine inspiration and revelation have it's place.

SOO upon tearful arrival on Thursday, I saw just about every doctor in the greater Inland Empire region and I'm pretty sure every single one took a blood sample, had an MRI and a CT scan, of which the results came back yesterday and it has been concluded and determined by process of elimination that I do in fact not have a brain tumor or cancer, but a virus deeply imbedded in the nerves that run through the back of my inner ear into my brain and neck, of which there is no cure, it just has to run its course, which it will and I will in fact recover. The doctor said he estimated about a 2 month rest period in order to recover, but once I have he will clear me and I'll be able to go back out and finish the time I have left.

So I'm going to be quite alright, death facial paralysis and deafness are almost nearly ruled out entirely, AND I got to come home for Christmas. Who does that?

Anyway thank you all so very much for all of your love and support these past 7 months, it got me through so very much. The Lord's looking out for me, and I'm going to get better very soon.

With all of my love,

The soon to be known again as Hna. Emily Haws

More from Ayucacho

2011-11-15T17:12:00.000-06:00

Emily in Ayacucho

2011-10-18T16:51:00.001-06:00

Emily at the zoo, hugging the llama...

Baptism...

Emily with her District...

For some reason this picture will NOT go right side up. Sorry 'bout that.

Llama poncho

2011-09-27T17:26:00.000-06:00

Emily is doing great in Peru. She was transferred from her first area in Ica to a town in the mountains. This week was her first official llama sighting! Also, having mastered Spanish and completely forgotten English, she has started learning the local dialect of Quechua.

This photo is of Emily in her favorite llama poncho, holding Books of Mormon in English, Spanish and Quechua.

She sends her love and gratitude for your friendship, prayers and support.

Mission Update: Emily is in Peru!

2011-06-26T14:41:00.000-06:00

Hi.

This is not Emily. This is Emily's sister Sara, coming to you with a critical update on Emily's mission status.

Upon Em's arrival in the MTC, they assessed her Spanish skills and put her into an advance language group with a bunch of native speakers. They also said that because of her language skills, she would be spending only 3 weeks in the Provo MTC and then going strait into the mission field, skipping the Peru MTC entirely.

And that is just what happened a few days ago. On Wednesday, June 22nd, Emily flew to Peru where she was greeted at the airport by her mission president.

So I am happy to report that Emily is safe in Peru and out in the mission field!

That also means that starting now and for the duration of her mission her address will be:

Sister Emily Ruth Haws
Peru Lima South Mission
Av Jorge Basadre 592, Oficina 604-A
Edificio Torre Azul, San Isidro
Lima 27
Peru

Thank you for supporting her with your prayers and letters, I know that they mean the world to her right now.

Farewell For Now!

2011-05-27T21:30:00.001-06:00

Well finest of folk, we've reached the dock I'm afraid. I know you're all going to miss my highly professional, extremely consistent, and entirely politically correct blurbs about nothing, but it's time. I'm turning this fine piece of internet real estate as well as all creative license over to my far more professional, consistent, and equally politically correct sister Sara "Beara" Haws Frost- Nixon for the duration of 18 months while I frolic diligently amid the south western coastal region of Peru. She'll throw up an update from time to time, a few pictures here and there. If you want to be added to an email list for a more consistent update, ask her nicely and I'm sure you two can work something out. I've made it the goal of my entire mission to get a picture of me riding a llama for at least 8 seconds. Wish me luck. I love you all, thank you for the roles you've played in my life, and I couldn't be happier with where I'm at. See you December 2012!

Con amor,
Hermana Haws

Watch out world!

2011-05-17T12:14:00.000-06:00

I don't know when, but lil brother grew up. STUDLYFE. Sam's 18 now, graduating high school (the DAY after I go into the MTC unfortunately. If you're there cheer twice as loud for me) and will be attending UCLA in the fall. The kid's a boss. Look out world, we've always known Sammy would do great things, but he's doing them with humor and charm all his own. Samuel Nelson Haws, I know I can't be around for the next little bit to cheer you on, but I'll be here in spirit, and I'm so very proud of you.

We'll just call it Lately.

2011-05-17T12:02:00.000-06:00

HOLLERpeño muffins at Paradise... I'm a believer.

Lyndsee and I are officially on her credit card, I'm star treking obvs.

Suby at the gas station with everyone's favorite biggest thermometer in the world lingering in the background.

Driving up to Utah at an unholy hour in the morning. The things I do to surprise.

Being freezing and layered and distributing the "IE" sign all throughout the greater Salt Lake Valley. This picture was sure to be blackmail so if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Santa Monica with le Mason.

Caution women driving and a dinosaur eating a Jesus fish in Ojai. Too good.

Further Ojai-ing.

Because you know how much I love these.

Happy Easter?

Doggy Drums.

American Gothic/ill prepared/awkward perfection?

All too accurate.

oh HEY

2011-05-02T00:42:00.000-06:00

My apologies to all 2 and a half of you for being so M.I.A. I don't know, returning from Europe, reentering life, leaving in a month for Peru, throwing in a spontaneous and entirely too quick and unplanned trip to Utah, stomaching "comfortable shoes", it's been a full plate lately (white girl problems, I know). I'll try and say something funny tomorrow. Or maybe I won't. Like I'll say something tomorrow, but maybe it won't be funny.

xoxo

M L E

William Blake

2011-03-27T15:06:00.002-06:00

"You cannot have Liberty in this world without what you call Moral Virtue, and you cannot have Moral Virtue without the slavery of that half of the human race who hate what you call Moral Virtue."

My excitement over packages is getting a liiiittle out of control

2011-03-20T16:43:00.001-06:00

Here is a play by play of my last package opening, a bless-ed assortment hailing from my glorious mother. Who knew a girl could get so excited over receiving a back pack she's already owned, Cliff Bars, Advil, a knee brace, and headphones (don't worry that I've broken 3 pairs in my transatlantic time alone). Oh my I think I just turned into a 35 year old woman from Boulder.

It began with eating packing peanuts (thank you for those by the way mother, that's bubble wrap taken to the next level):

The cry of glory:

Twice:

Thrice:

Seemed logical in the moment:

A sea of anti-inflammatories:

Yet again Gerber tool FTW:

Any opportunity to unnecessarily use my saw:

Thank you Mommy!

Miss these two

2011-03-20T16:02:00.000-06:00

More than ever this week....

How could you not?

Have fun this week on your trip bruddahs!

Here's a little vintage Christmas Break 2008 video I scrounged up, enjoi

Courtesy of Sara Wetzel

2011-03-15T11:20:00.001-06:00

TOO LEGIT

2011-03-15T11:20:00.000-06:00

Elder Kaycee Landsaw, my jealousy exceeds words.

Shrimpy tiiiime

2011-03-13T13:12:00.000-06:00

I've grown to love shrimp, but this is the issue I'm having:

Shrimp fully encased in it's carcass, needing to be dismantled. This particular specimen had antennas nearly touching the floor.

But everything is less sha-nasty when you can make it into the shape of a heart, no?

Happiness in Southern France

2011-03-12T12:56:00.000-06:00

I think I might remember this singular moment for the rest of my life.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE MAN

2011-03-11T14:45:00.001-06:00

Happy Birthday to my wonderful father! You've managed to both stay alive and not kill me all in the same year. 54 years old and still as B.A. as ever, and not to mention the most amazing example any daughter could ask for. I love you Dad!

Matt and Kim meets The Clash

2011-03-11T07:46:00.000-06:00

and I'm all kinds of happy about it.

wise words

2011-03-10T15:58:00.000-06:00

stay yourself. The greatest tragedy is to lose who you are by being too concerned with what you are.

Mission Map

2011-03-10T15:54:00.000-06:00

I can't even tell you how long it took me to track this down. Ica, Ayacucho, and Lima... you ready? 'Cause I sure am.

San Sebastian

2011-03-07T08:29:00.000-06:00

Ok I'm going to try to "blog appropriately" a.k.a. drone on about the latest events in an orderly fashion with corresponding photographs that you really don't give a sloot about, all while trying to remain politically correct and decently respectable. Don't get used to this.

The day began with mobbing around the beach:

It then led to finding the most cliché heart shaped leaf floating in the tide:

I finally admitted against my will and snake pit for a heart that it actually was kind of adorable:

Which led to full embracement of getting cliché:

sooooooo artistic:

Then we sat on the dock of the bay.....

If you know me at all, you know there are few things I love more in life than watching boats roll in and out.

After which we went to the aquarium! Childhood bliss, I was practically giddy. Correction, I was entirely giddy:

Morbidly preserved corpii of aquatic creatures:

There were several attempts to capture a picture of this FISH WITH TEETH, yes you get to see all of them:

Demented fish with teeth?

Winner:

There was a map on the ground. I was very excited to see that Peru was present and accounted for:

Then I got way Bad-A/rule breakin' and touch an octopus, he wasn't having it unfortunately. I've never dated someone with 8 arms.....

A celebrity sighting of Dory and Nemo out for a leisurely stroll/float:

Lovely.

There are so many beautiful places in this world.

Cathedrals and Mirrors

2011-03-07T07:55:00.000-06:00

One Track Mind

2011-03-06T12:16:00.000-06:00

ALL I EVER WANT ON THIS CONTINENT IS ICE CREAM CONES.

no really, EVER. Although I'm completely aware this is just a replica and in fact not real ice cream, Erin had to pry me off of it just because the thought of an ice cream cone actually being that large and in charge was too good to let go.

This is so about to be my life.

2011-03-01T07:57:00.000-06:00

Dear Sister Haws:

2011-02-25T18:50:00.000-06:00

You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Perú Lima South Mission. You should report to the Provo Missionary Training Center Wednesday June 1st, 2011.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What I Can

2011-02-24T17:50:00.000-06:00

and WILL do with 140 tattoos.

What you can buy with a Euro!

Pau!

2011-02-24T07:56:00.000-06:00

I FINALLY CAME TO TERMS WITH EUROPE TODAY.

I was walking down the street this morning wearing a Laker Nation shirt, and all of a sudden I see an entire torso of a man come out of a window of a moving car and yell, "IIEEEE LUUFFF PAU!!!" Blessed Spaniards, I knew we could find a common ground.

Te quiero Pau. Los Lakers siempre y para siempre.

Dinner Conversation

2011-02-24T06:48:00.000-06:00

As if it couldn't get better, and then it does.

Last night we come out to dinner and to our lovely surprise, it's faceless and recognizable, somewhere along the lines of a cheese omlet, french fries, and a chow mein-esque concoction with sopapillas on the side. I'm obviously stoked. I look over at Erin and see she has no french fries, I ask her why and she says, "Ana told me I don't like them." I hysterically laugh. Ana comes out of the kitchen dancing to her technocumbia (more to come on that later) and smiles and says, "I gave you lots of cheese because I know you love it, and here's ketchup too!" SCORE. I do love chee. SO MUCH CHEE. It was like cheese with a side of egg. And we all know how much I love ketchup. Ketchup is to Emily Haws as Kathy Lee was to Regis. But apparently Erin doesn't like french fries. Ana told her she didn't.

As I recap this it suddenly seems less funny than it did last night, but I'm still going to share based on the principle that I almost fell out of my chair laughing when I saw Erin had no french fries and my plate was oozing with cheese and ketchup. It's like I sucked all the goodness out of her meal and condemned her to the bland-it-ies of transparent chow mien noodles while I slurped up the glories of high flavored American dreams.

We have a joke (oh ya we've got inside jokes now, what you know about cross cultural common ground) that Ana and Díos know everything. Quien sabe? Solamente Ana y Díos... So if Ana says Erin doesn't like french fries, she don't like no french fries.

Look What I'm Seeing Tonight!

2011-02-24T06:38:00.000-06:00

Tooooo excited.

Yep, still funny.

2011-02-23T13:48:00.000-06:00

In a Corner of Madrid

2011-02-23T13:02:00.002-06:00

El Templo de Madrid

2011-02-22T14:22:00.000-06:00

We had the wonderful opportunity to go and do baptisms for the dead at the Madrid temple this week. It aint got nothin' on Redlands, but it's still a beautiful place.

And it will always be able to calm me down, even if I'm in the most nerve racking and restless two weeks of my life, as evidenced by my dishevelment below.

Pray for me!

The Burial of the Count of Orgaz

2011-02-18T14:52:00.002-06:00

I saw this in person today in Toledo, I believe my life is changed.

Faith is not just a feeling, but also a decision.

2011-02-14T06:53:00.000-06:00

Choose faith over doubt, choose faith over fear, choose faith over the unknown and the unseen, and choose faith over pessimism.

Richard C. Edgely.

Eiffel Tower

2011-02-13T08:07:00.000-06:00

This Means War.

2011-02-08T11:04:00.000-06:00

Excuse me while I publicly declare something that will not make sense to anyone other than Sara :

IT'S

ON.

It was also way good and most definitely made my Spanish day. Love you!

Why all the hype?

2011-02-07T14:10:00.000-06:00

Oh, right, the Mona Lisa.

Once upon a time in the Paris Metro...

2011-02-06T15:29:00.000-06:00

I made eye contact with a street performer- mistake number one- which led to the following sequence.

He told me to hold it up high so he could kick it in half..... He then ran full speed, and strategically hugged me instead.

For those of you who are facebook users-

2011-02-02T06:44:00.002-06:00

Emily Haws Appreciation Page.

I successfully completely bomb and destroy enough photos on my own that my study abroad group has made a facebook page dedicated to the sole purpose of exploiting the aforementioned photos. Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Little do they know, this has been going on for a while.

Sorry for being pretty.

You can't tell, but

2011-02-02T06:35:00.000-06:00

we're doing the star trek sign.

Live long and prosper ya'll.

4 Cities in 2 days....

2011-01-30T12:03:00.001-06:00

Avila, Salamanca, Toro, and Tordesilla.....
Avila: A city completely encircled by a wall..... and there was snow.

There I go laughing again. Sheesh, just can't stop won't stop.

Salamanca: An old, urban feel city with two cathedrals, a huge university, a seashell wall of which I'm still unsure of the significance, and the illusive lucky frog... There is a wall of the university that's intricately carved and you're said to either have good luck and return to Salamanca or get married within the next year if you can spot the frog (tour guides and google were far too contradicting to make a final decision on which). Either way, I avoided the frog.

We went out on the Salamanca town for Alyssa's birthday... I failed miserably and was back in bed by 1.... most places don't even open until 2 A.M. And yes that is a holographic beetle on my shirt. Part of Alyssa's birthday celebration was everyone wearing something HIDEOUS (pronounced hidge-us). Notice Erin's hot pink butterfly clip.

Toro: The Roman started/Gothic finished cathedral on the side of a cliff.

Said cliff:

Tordesilla: We went to this amazing Arabic castle turned monestary, but unfortunately were not allowed to take pictures, so alas all I have to offer are these uneventful city scenes.

Said Whitney Houston SNL Clip. Too Good.

2011-01-27T12:03:00.000-06:00

Spain's Perception of the United States.

2011-01-26T14:38:00.001-06:00

So the past few days we've had some interesting encounters with the local color. When walking around in a group of 5 plus-BYU related-majority of which are blonde-chicas, it's semi (ridiculously) obvious that one, we're not from Spain, and two, we're most likely American. That being said, let me regale to you a few choice experiences.

Exhibit A:
My roommate Erin and I were at the train station waiting for a few other girls when a fully tweaking, possibly rolling, and entirely cracked out man with sunflower yellow teeth comes up to me and says in, for lack of better word we'll call it English- "Auure you fro de Eunited Stayes?" I look at his wide eyed eager face and think to myself- huh, how should I answer this one. Living on the edge and risking possible stabbing on sight and/or a white van to come out of no where to take me away to some Spanish torture dungeon, I reply, "Yees... why?" to which he responds, "BOOBBYY FISCHER! BOBBY FISCHER!!! He ees my GOD!! I have seen all of hees 851 games! He is GOD!" I waited in hope of there being a question, or maybe a little further information. Looking back at him somewhere in between deer in headlights and I really wish I had a mag light to clock this fool with, I say, "Wow, impressive." Cracked out man replies, "Do you have a ball point?!? A ball point??!" I indeed had a ballpoint, the more commonly used term being pen, but for some reason I was inclined to say, "No, I'm sorry". He then says, "Do you espeak the Spanish??" Hesitant again, I say "Yes...." He then exclaims- "SON DIOSES.... long pause.... DIOSES. Recuerda. Bobby Fischer and Barry Bonds......" Long stare.... turns and runs off like a hobbit. Thanks to the help of google (apparently I'm entirely uncultured in ways of American sports history) I later discovered Bobby Fischer is chess player. Obviously someone entirely worthy of being held in the same respect as the creator of the world.

Exhibit B: On the bus with a group of 4 of us, blonde ratio 3:1. A man at the front of the bus yells to us, "Goodnight!" We look back and smile politely. He then asks us in Spanish where we're from, we tell him, and from 0 to 60 in .3 seconds he says, "OOOHH! MIAMI! NEW YORK! YES I LUFF DE UNITED STAYES! MIAMI! LOS ANGELES! si!" We again smile politely, and go back to fantasizing about French Crepes. A few minutes later out of nowhere the man yells, " EMINEM! EMINEM!" I respond, "yes?" The man says, "Eminem is the greatest American!" Ya, someone really said that.

Exhibit C: Tonight at dinner, our host mom Ana decided to play a little background music which consisted of a mix CD mostly made up of Enya and Celine Dion songs. She then declares, with all kinds of gusto, that Whitney Houston is the greatest singer to ever live! I held back a bit of a laugh because the first thing that came to mind was a recent Saturday Night Live skit that my family quotes like crazy, one that does not display Whitney Houston as a role model to say the least, but I was able to successfully turn my laugh into a pasta inhaling snort noise. Whitney Houston? Really? Ana went on to say later that she really wished Whitney Houston would stop doing drugs, but even though she does drugs she's still the greatest singer on the earth.

Conclusion of these recent experiences: America, I think it's safe to say we're blowin' it.

All I do is laauuuugghhh

2011-01-24T15:39:00.000-06:00

SEGOVIA

2011-01-24T15:13:00.000-06:00

Not to be confused with Genovia.

Absolutely gorgeous.

contraband pictures in the Catedral de Segovia... they're like great and abominable so I wasn't too concerned... too far?

Erin's #1:

Fine Sara, you want more burro-

2011-01-24T14:45:00.000-06:00

YOU'LL GET MORE BURRO. Sara Frost formerly known as Haws made a snarky request to see more pictures of a previously displayed wooden donkey. We had a borderline photo shoot with the little fellah, along with the other wooden creatures in the Don Quixote ninos park. So Sara, here I am making your dreams come true. Pictures of me, a burro, and friends.

Baby girl givin' face-

Oh, hey-

Just riding a rabbit:

and really enjoying it-

This is a warning to never ask me for something ridiculous unless you really want it, because I'll do it. And then you will be responsible for whatever ridiculosity follows.

xoxo Emilia

Why Spain is weird and why Spain is great.

2011-01-20T08:08:00.000-06:00

A few things I've noticed:

1. These people do not refrigerate their jams and jellys, or mermaladas rather, after opening. I hope they have conservantes up in those jars.
2. For how energy and water-usage conscious they are, their toilets suuuure use a heck of a lot of water. Really though, it's like the tide comes in and out every time they flush.
3. Never in my life have I seen men age more gracefully than here. I think I'm more attracted to the silver foxes than the young guns walkin' around the streets. Aye aye aye.
4. The Euro sucks. So bad.
5. Public transportation. Number 1.
6. The men really aren't that forward. Either that or I'm just not as ridiculously good looking as I thought I was. Or just not as blonde anymore. The policeman- especially the ones on horses, another story. Talk about an abuse of power.
7. The average street beggar makes over 20,000 dollars a year in Madrid. I bet you they go home, shower, and watch cable tv after doing 9-5 on the steps of the cathedral holding their knees doing that rock back and forth bit while never directly looking you in the eyes. Too far?
8. I don't even think Spaniards like the Spanish accent. The whole "pride" bit is just an act because even they realize how ridiculous they sound adding thhhhh in completely unnecessary syllabic slurs.
9. Food with faces. I'd like to remain ignorant of my inhumane behavior.
10. Facial piercings. Tattoos are super out of the norm, but people really are getting creative here with their facial puncture combinations.
11. Music. It's like the took all of the music from American radios 6 months to 2 and a half years ago, threw in a little Coldplay and Breaking Benjamin, and called it a day. Way to be actively fighting globalization.
12. FLAMENCO. FLAMENCO. FLAMENCO. (more detailed post to follow).

La Paella...

2011-01-20T07:52:00.000-06:00

I just ate you, and because I'm a good polite host daugher I ate all of you, and I think the best way to sum up our relationship is that you're going to be an acquired friend... or just a stomach upset. This country loves leaving the eyes on their food.

Stand By Me

2011-01-20T04:57:00.000-06:00

PHOTO BOMB

2011-01-18T15:30:00.000-06:00

Oh Bueno bars, how did I forget about you?

2011-01-18T15:20:00.000-06:00

This afternoons snack:

and

Simple pleasures, I tell ya.

In one weeks worth of meal time we have covered:

2011-01-17T07:53:00.000-06:00

-Religion
-Politics
-Gender roles
-Homosexuality
-Drug wars and trafficking
-The Cuban Missile Crisis
-The Kennedy's
-Arnold Shwartzen-idiot
-Pregnancy
-Chinese world domination
-Prostitution
-Moroccan immigration laws and female abuse
-Boyfriends and love lives/ why Erin and I are not married

and have eaten with people from China, Spain, France, Chile, Nicaragua, and the United States.

It's like we're living in the UN.

p.s. breakfast here at Ana's house is the greatest meal in the world, it was meant for Emily: hot chocolate, toast with jam, an occasional sugar coated Spanish pastry, and these little Chilean pancakes that I can't remember the name of covered in honey. Yes. Everyday. I love it.

Pictures with me actually in them. Apparently that's what the people want.

2011-01-15T02:49:00.000-06:00

A little piece of our group downtown: Erin, Luisa, Laura, David, myself.

Me and my number one burro in the park across the street from our apartment.

Someone made another "U of U heathen" joke, oy vey.

Madrid

2011-01-13T15:47:00.000-06:00

Ya Mom, good luck making me come home.

xoxo,

Eshpaaania

He's global.

2011-01-13T15:45:00.000-06:00

A few pictures from Alcalá

2011-01-12T15:34:00.000-06:00

Here's a few pictures from my first days in Spain. Alcalá de Henares is a funny little suburb of Madrid. It's a mix of classic old Spanish architecture, a bit of a feel of central America, the Spanish equivalent to a Palm Springs retirement community, an international university, and a mega tribute to Miguel Cervantes, the author of Don Quioxte. He lived and wrote the adventures of Don Quixote here in Alcalá, and boy oh boy are they proud of it. Today we went and toured his original house (fo free) during a break between classes. El cajón superior!

Airport status:

Wandering the streets of Alcalá....

Our cute little pink apartment:

Aw yeah:

YOU KNOW THIS IS MY FAVORITE:

You also know that the cow print bed is mine.

Plaza de Cervantes:

Universidad de Alcalá, original building, being reconstructed:

The creepy Plaza de Manuel that means we're almost home!

I'm here and safe and adjusting.... my host mom is an adorable Chilean (bless her heart for not having a Spanish accent YEE) grandma with a little grandson named Oscar who's 4.... she keeps yelling at us for playing too loud. Yesterday we watched Spongebob together after dinner. **Random thought** if in the United States Dora the Explorer speaks English and teaches kids words in Spanish, in Spanish speaking countries does Dora la Exploradora speak Spanish and teach English words? Also there's two students from China that live with us as well. No we still don't know their names, and even if we did we probably couldn't pronounce them. Needless to say it's an interesting mix, but already so much fun. Ciao!

I'm safe and in one piece, and I am both of those things in Spain.

2011-01-10T15:21:00.000-06:00

Hooray! Here is my address incase you want to send me things (I reciprocate presents) or if you just want to creepily google map me so you know where to send European traffickers to make a profit. Kidding. But here:

C/Río Alberche 1 1º A

28803 Alcalá de Henares

Espana

It's only been a few hours, but if my cow print bed spread is an indicator of anything, this is going to be a fantastic 3 months. Love to you all!

p.s. aren't you guys excited that I have new culturally rich and flourishing content to completely ruin by infusing my awkward sense of humor into? Oh good me too.

p.s.s. skype name: emilyhaws

p.s.s.s. I'll post pictures soon and give a detailed account of my activities, habitual and unecessary ones included. Hasta!

You never fail me.

2011-01-03T01:56:00.000-06:00

Shout out to the only 2 people in the world I know actually read my blog.*

2011-01-02T22:40:00.000-06:00

So I received Madame and Sir Pack's Christmas card last week and it could quite possibly be the highlight of my Christmas-mail-receiving-season. Seriously, adorablé.

Here's me, with Ashley and Tyler in said Christmas(Holiday? I don't know if you guys are politically correct) card.

Pretty much this post has no purpose beyond publicly expressing my love ( I was in the mood after F&T meeting today) for these two God given people. They actually admit to reading this pile of horse excrement, and sometimes even think it's funny. Don't you worry, I will continue keeping it classy, just as AC-P taught me:

FLASHBACK CHRISTMAS 2008

2010-12-28T16:59:00.001-06:00

No, I won't apologize.

Celtek at Sport Chalet?

2010-12-22T18:04:00.000-06:00

You go Glen Coco!

Celtek is (apparently) a snowboarding glove company, one I only know anything about due to having a friend of mine work for them last year. Said friend (now) Elder, gave me a few stickers of which I passed on to lil brudder Seth (pictured in emotional overwhelm-ment). I've never seen any of it outside of Utah, maybe that's because I ski approximately .7 times a year, but to get to the point you can imagine my surprise and Seth's sheer joy when we came across this little number in the middle of our local sport chalet.

Expansion FTW. Mad love to the germ.

Elf Yourself? ... There's an app for that.

2010-12-22T17:48:00.000-06:00

Lyndsee surprised elf?

Contemplative Santa?

...Chandler?

Jolly Santa and Constipated Rudolph?

Graduated Elf!

Ode to dark hair...

2010-12-22T17:41:00.000-06:00

....a good time of life, and other normal behaviors.

I just wanted you to know that I miss you. Who knows, maybe we'll have another spin in the near future. It would appear as if we're already headed back that way. Don't tell Grandma.

HE'S STILL GOT IT

2010-12-16T01:38:00.000-06:00

awwwwwwww yeeeaaaaaaahhhhhh

Cuantos días???

2010-12-15T12:41:00.000-06:00

VIENTE Y CUATRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

side note:

I apologize for my lack of respect to the blogging institutions of the world. I rarely ever highly organize a post, (more than) half the time I use it as a pseudo-twitter or simply just a way to remember dumb stuff I find on the internet. If you do enjoy my blog, I commend you and encourage you to continue reading it- cause you know (bird) sheez is gonna get even more real once I'm in Europe. If you do not like it, I invite you to eat a bowl of hair.

JA JA JA Y SALUDOS

-Emilio Estevez

Sittin' on the dock of the bay

2010-12-09T12:11:00.000-06:00

PC?

2010-11-30T13:55:00.000-06:00

Oh and don't even worry

2010-11-30T13:52:00.000-06:00

Here it is live.

And my apologies, she's actually 10.

Ok sorry for partying, but

2010-11-30T13:50:00.000-06:00

She is 9 YEARS OLD.... amazing.

Get 'em to Bieber

2010-11-27T11:08:00.000-06:00

Lyndsee's 20!

2010-11-19T11:28:00.000-06:00

Which of course called for funfetti cookies, not only a staple of life but a dessert of celebratory powers as well...

I'd be lying if I said I didn't make that face on purpose. Happy Birthday LYNDSS!!!! 20 birhdays down together, 60 more to go...... Here is a brief, mildly organized, completely randomly selected based off of what was easiest to find on my computer, photo montage with an unintentional yet greatly descriptive ode to B Vines in the beginning of Lyndsee and my life together. Years 5-16 are yet to be digitized.

People always bust out that "oh my gosh girl, like my life would totally not be the same without you in it", but real talk Lyndsee Morgan Brice, MY LIFE would not be the same without YOU in it.

xoxo to my heterosexual life mate. here's to our next equally ridiculous approximately 60 years!

Just a normal day

2010-11-08T19:36:00.000-06:00

playing dress up while Bryan picks out his King Henry VIII costume.

not a big deal.

This on the other hand:

BIG DEAL. Go Bry.

I present to you, Annie Lambiase-Mitchell

2010-11-08T19:29:00.000-06:00

YES!

2010-11-08T19:22:00.001-06:00

lyndseemorgan.blogspot.com

RSL

2010-11-07T13:31:00.000-06:00

So Lyndsee and I went to our first REAL Salt Lake Game last night (why it took us this long to go to one I have no bloody idea). But really, WHY in hell fire did we not know about these? Seriously we finally felt like we were among our own kind. That may or may not have to do with the fact that everything said over the loud speaker was repeated in Spanish, and there was more Raider apparel in that one stadium than I've seen all of my time in Utah combined. But really, I forgot how great soccer fans are. Needless to say, we'll soon be 2011 season ticket holders. Oh and we also found our latest boyfriends:

I would tell you whose is whose, but it should be blatantly obvious.

olé... olé olé olé... Reeeaaallll..... Saaallllt Laaaaaake

and one more for good measure:

p.s. shout out to Carlos Acevedo for working for REAL and hookin us up.... Commerce 4 lyfe

Bron

2010-11-07T13:07:00.000-06:00

Jimmy Page

2010-11-03T20:18:00.000-06:00

"I may not believe in myself, but I believe in what I'm doing."

Miss Him

2010-11-01T20:57:00.001-06:00

Also for Aaron and Heather: Retarded running horse. Oh yeah.

2010-10-06T15:54:00.000-06:00

For Aaron and Heather

2010-10-06T15:52:00.000-06:00

I know most of us have seen this video, but Aaron and Heather have not, so please. Feast your eyes upon this fantastic piece of musical creation. In case you haven't seen the original interview, click here.

Homeboy, homeboy, homeboy.

España!!!

2010-10-06T15:46:00.001-06:00

I got accepted to study abroad for winter semester in Madrid, and I am the happiest girl in all the land!!!

January-April.....

¿Está listo para mí, España?

:)

hahahahahah

2010-09-13T18:01:00.000-06:00

You think by now I might have learned....

2010-09-09T18:31:00.000-06:00

To not leave my computer unattended in the presence of my extremely mature friends.

Obviously I'm way above it.